


Ad Movere

by Fallen_Ace



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Iwaizumi Hajime-centric, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:40:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28064859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fallen_Ace/pseuds/Fallen_Ace
Summary: The white of the snow shines like tears, a vast expanse of land that has both valleys and plains, but seems flat at first glance. A reminder once again of what was lost. Fights are supposed to be cutting, inflicting wounds that only they could heal. Instead, it is as if hollowness filled them both, each having nothing else anymore to give.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 6
Kudos: 8





	Ad Movere

**Author's Note:**

> As a lot of my works are, this was first written for writing class. I added like more than 1000 words.

_The white of the snow shines like tears, a vast expanse of land that has both valleys and plains, but seems flat at first glance. A reminder once again of what was lost. Fights are supposed to be cutting, inflicting wounds that only they could heal. Instead, it is as if hollowness filled them both, each having nothing else anymore to give._

\---

_ Age 5 _

“This is Tooru,” Hajime’s mother crouches down to be at eye level with him, “Please take care of him, Hajime.”

_“Tooru”, well, Oikawa Tooru’s mother laughs, “No, no, Tooru should take care of Hajime here.”_

_Hajime stares at the boy in front of him, “Hmm,” he mutters, and petulantly, stretches out a hand, “Hello, my name is Hajime. It’s nice to meet you.”_

_The boy, “Tooru”, reaches and shakes his hand, “Hello, my name is Oikawa Tooru,” and he smiles that blinding grin that Hajime cannot seem to ever forget, “It’s nice to meet you too!”_

_This amicable relationship has barely lasted a day when it dissolves into chaos._

_“Eww,” Tooru jumps back, scrunching his nose up, “What is that?”_

_“Uh, bugs?” Hajime stares in amazement, “Do you not know what bugs are?”_

_“Of course I do, Iwa-chan!” Tooru rolls his eyes, “But why would you want to keep bugs? They crawl everywhere and look icky!”_

_“‘Cause I like them,” Hajime sniffs, “Stupidkawa!”_

_“”M not stupid,” Tooru’s eyes shine with tears, “You’re a big meanie!”_

_“Oh no! Hajime! Tooru!” Their respective mothers run from the kitchen._

_“What happened?” Hajime’s mother asks, “Hajime?”_

_“He called my bugs disgusting!”_

_“Well, Tooru?”_

_“He called me stupid! I’m not stupid!”_

_Tooru’s mother laughs, “Well, I think you guys are both in the wrong. Hajime for calling Tooru stupid, and Tooru belittling Hajime’s hobby and calling it disgusting. Please apologize to each other.”_

_“Sorry for calling your,” Tooru wraps his mouth around the word, “Haw-bee disgusting.”_

_“Sorry for calling you stupid. You aren’t. I was just mad.” Hajime scuffs the ground._

_“It’s okay. Let’s start over,” Tooru sticks his hand out, “Hello, my name is Oikawa Tooru.”_

_“Hello. My name is Iwaizumi Hajime,” Hajime shakes Tooru’s hand._

_Tooru’s eyes brighten, “Now we’re friends, Iwa-chan!”_

_“What did you just call me?”_

\---

_ Age 12 _

_“Shittykawa,” Hajime huffs, “Stop practicing! You’re going to get hurt!”_

_“Iwa-chan, leave. If I don’t practice, how will I be better than Tobio-chan?” Tooru sneers, “Genius, genius, I hate that word. I’ll never be better if I don’t work hard. Leave, Iwaizumi.”_

_“No. Tooru,” Hajime pleads, “You’re going to get hurt. You can’t improve when you are like this,” He sucks in a breath, “I’m going to use my favour.”_

_Tooru’s head whips back to stare incredulously at him, “Iwa-chan,” he laughs wetly, “Why would you go so far? You do know that this is a once a year thing, right?”_

_“I know,” Hajime crosses his arms, “And I’m using it today,” His expression softens, “C’mon, let’s get your favourite milk bread.”_

_Hajime can see Tooru’s eyes light up, “Really? The expensive ones?”_

_“Yeah, I’ll pay.”_

_“Why, Iwa-chan, if you wanted to spend time with me, you could have just asked,” Tooru throws the volleyball into the cart and drapes over Hajime’s shoulders._

_ Hajime would do anything to keep that smile. _

_ Age 17-18—Graduation _

“Iwa-chan, I like you,” Tooru holds out his second button and quirks a brow.

_“Shittykawa,” Hajime mumbles, and he takes it, “If not you, who would I like?”_

_Whistles come from the team watching from the side._

_“Finally!” Matsukawa shouts, “We’ve been watching you pine for so long!”_

_“Hanamaki leers, “Seems I didn’t have to implement my plan, hmm? It would have been fun to watch.”_

_“Shut up, it’s not like you haven’t been pining for a certain pink haired someone,” Hajime hisses back. Matsukawa’s face turns red._

_“Aww, really, Mattsun? I’m flattered,” Hanamaki puts a hand over his heart._

_“I seem to remember someone saying, ‘His lips look so kissable, does he use lip gloss or something? I want to kiss him, what do I do?’” Tooru glances at Hanamaki pointedly._

_“Makki,” Matsukawa drags him away, “We’ll be sorting this out.”_

_The rest of the team just glances at their receding figures._

_They come back holding hands._

_\---_

_ At the airport _

“Iwa-chan, we’ll be okay, right?”

_Hajime clasps Tooru’s hands, “Tooru, we lasted for this long, do you really think a few bumps can phase us?”_

\---

Their relationship could be akin to snow upon a mountain. They each have left tracks in their respective lives, even in the darkest corners. Peace can be shattered in a heartbeat by an avalanche that engulfs. They rebuild and life goes on. When did the rebuilding turn into apathy and the realization that no one would catch them?

The beginning of their love was a snowstorm, something that envelops and leaves mounds upon mounds of emotions in its wake. Unsuspectingly, it mellowed into the sun-softened mountain face— a glittering expanse—showing what has become of the whirlwind of the storm.

_\---_

_“Hey,” The Zoom call flickers, but the warmth in their hearts cannot be ignored._

_“Hi.”_

_\---_

The “I love you”s come next— they have left imprints in their hearts. An unfamiliar type of feeling begins to blossom, one that will adapt to their ever-changing snowy field. They emerge from the blizzard stronger than ever, and more trails are paved, slowly settling into domestically.

\---

_As the last of the boxes is set down, Hajime can’t help but blurt out, “I love you.”_

_Oikawa seems surprised, but smiles that beautiful smile, “I love you too. Now, now, don’t get too sappy on me. How will I tell people you are a brute if you act like this?”_

_“Ugh, Shittykawa.”_

_“Don’t worry, I know.”_

_\---_

_Nothing will be forever_.

A rift appears. Flowers begin to shrivel and storms are never ending. Only apathy remains. The notes of affection are gone, the flowers have been frozen, the roots yanked out— and yet they still portray happiness to others.

\---

_“Why are you like this?” Tooru’s shout can be heard in the apartment._

_“Why am_ I _like this? Why are_ you _like this? I had to hear from Matsukawa and Hanamaki about you going back to Argentina! Couldn’t you have at least told me? When is your plane?”_

_“Tomorrow,” Tooru snaps, “I didn’t tell you because I—”_

_“You what?”_

_Tooru sighs, and the next words turn Hajime into ice, “Aren’t you tired?”_

_“What?”_

_“Aren’t you tired of being like this? We argue every day now, we aren’t okay. Our relationship isn’t okay.”_

_“Yeah,” Hajime snaps, “Because I’m the only one trying. I ask and you deflect. You don’t tell me anything anymore!”_

_“So you want to break up?” Tooru’s voice sounds apathetic._

_“If that’s for the best.”_

_“Let’s give this another try. If it doesn’t work out, we break up,” Oikawa stares at Hajime, “I’m sorry for not telling you about my flight. We’ll make this work.”_

_“Alright. Let’s try again,” Hajime ignores that nagging feeling in his gut and pastes a strained smile. “We will make this work.”_

_He doesn’t know if he is saying this for Tooru or himself._

_\---_

_It must be their imagination, for why else would they be feeling nothing when looking at the other?_

Eventually, the snowstorm seems to have ended, when in fact, it was raging in the shadows where they did not travel. They tried to rebuild, and to replant seeds, but none would grow. It was only a matter of time before the swirling snow came into the real world. There was no screaming, no tears; only words that smothered life.

\--

When Hajime enters the apartment, he goes straight to Tooru, “We have to talk.”

Tooru is munching on cereal and when he looks up, Hajime can see the apathy in his eyes. He does not doubt it is also reflected in his eyes.

“Alright, let’s talk.”

“This is not working out.”

“I know.”

“Why?” Hajime’s voice breaks, “What happened to us? What happened to the childhood friends we knew? What happened to the best friends— the partners?”

“We grew up.”

“Tooru,” This got his head to snap up, “Please.”

“I don’t know. We were best friends when we were children. We fell in love with each other probably earlier than high school, and finally got together in graduation. We attended different universities and had a long distance relationship. That was fine,” Tooru smiles sadly, “I think our spark was gone. It might have faded away during the days without each other. How many days passed before we started to not miss each other? I don’t know anymore. I just know that I missed you so much during university, but then when playing in Argentina, I started wanting to skip our calls. I wanted to go out with the team after a grueling game instead of talking to you about it. I started thinking about you less and less, and even when I was homesick, I wanted to call Makki and Mattsun instead of my boyfriend,” Oikawa chuckles self-deprecatingly, “I thought to myself, ‘Wow, I’m a shit boyfriend.’”

“Same. You became a chore for me to answer. I miss the past. How have we changed so much? Did we get bored of each other?”

“No, I don’t think so. People change over time, and our relationship just changed for the worse. We did nothing wrong,” Oikawa sighs.

“We have to break up, don’t we?” Hajime asks, even though he already knows the answer.

“Hajime,” Oikawa pauses, “Iwa-chan, we can’t keep doing this. We can’t keep deceiving others to deceive ourselves.”

“Shittykawa, I’ll miss you.”

“I know, I’ll miss you too,” Oikawa sniffs, “Who knows, maybe we can learn to be friends again someday. I’ll move my stuff out tomorrow.”

“No, you can stay.”

“Iwa-chan, stop holding on.”

“I’ll return the money to you.”

Oikawa smiles a sad smile and walks into his room, shutting the door. Hajime puts his head in his hands and yearns for the tears to fall. They don’t.

\---

_Why do we still hold on?_

He still tried to hold on to that one plant whose roots were firmly stuck; but as time passed, the snowstorm retreated, and all that remained were those tracks and a blankness akin to a blank sheet of paper. The plant had vanished, taking the desperation along with it.

\---

_Oikawa leaves with a smile, “Bye, Iwa-chan, let’s meet again, when we are older and wiser.”_

_“Sure,” Hajime jokes, “You’ll look like a wrinkly prune.”_

_“Rude!”_

_Hajime envelops Tooru into a hug, “Thanks for being with me all these years.”_

_“No regrets?”_

_“None.”_

_Oikawa doesn’t turn back, and Hajime shuts the door. The apartment feels so empty, but Hajime feels more alive in a while. The last time he has felt this alive would probably be hitting Tooru’s sets._

_Goodbye, Iwa-chan and Shittykawa._

\---

_It is time to move on._

_Over the years, more tracks from different people were left once again. He was not afraid of falling anymore. The snow would break his descent_.

\---

_“How are you doing?” Matsukawa’s worried face appears in Hajime’s vision._

_“Surprisingly, better than ever. Is it sad that I don’t really miss him?”_

_Matsukawa stares at the liquid inside his glass, “Not really, your stories have ended, and that’s when new ones will start.”_

_“Cheers to that.”_

\---

_“Iwaizumi?” A person with a mop of brown hair, holding a coffee and milk bread makes eye contact with Hajime._

_“Oikawa? How have you been?”_

**Author's Note:**

> I would love if you could leave a comment and/or kudos if you enjoyed it!
> 
> Here is my [Twitter](https://twitter.com/Kwon_NT) if you want to chat


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